I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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