Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
