we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
try to milk me bitch
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