you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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