the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
