My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
