perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
