You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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