Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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