Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
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I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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