Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
