Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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