Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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