So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
