i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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