what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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