i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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