Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
