I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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