The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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