Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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