I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize