He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
