so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
