I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize