today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
40s are totally the cure
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
