And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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