Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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