i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize