barbara walters just said penis...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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