Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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