i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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