Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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