Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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