She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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