i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
