why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
