I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
