I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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