I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
