We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
