Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
