i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
