My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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