Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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