I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
