Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Life is so much better after having sex.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We are all done wearing pants today
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
