there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
