i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
