I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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