I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
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And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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