we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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