hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
