Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i would punch a child for taco bell
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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