I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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