This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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