last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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