I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
