trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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