I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just want to make out with him forever
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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