i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize