party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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