And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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