wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
