Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The Olympian is in my bed
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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