I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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